viccek és ami belefér

ez nagyon jó!!!!!:D:D:D:D

És ki tudja, hogy KAP kinek a lányát vette el:-)?

Leg, kit? :)

Vivi sejtettem, hogy Te értékelni fogod! :)

Hatalmas buli után így szól a férj a feleségnek:

• Nagyon berúgtam az éjjel, így nem emlékszem, hogy veled szeretkeztem a kamrában?
• Hány órakor?

*
Egy házaspár üldögél egy üveg bor mellett és beszélgetnek. Azt mondja a
férj:

• Fogadjunk, nem tudsz nekem olyat mondani, amitől egyszerre leszek vidám és szomorú is!
• Nos, megpróbálom - feleli az asszony. A tied sokkal nagyobb, mint a bátyádé.

*
Csávó kilép a nyilvános wc-ből,odalép hozzá egy nő.

• Elnézést, koedukált?
• Nem, csak pisiltem.

*
Az öregasszony elkíséri orvoshoz az öregembert, mert az rosszul hall. A vizsgálat végén azt mondja az orvos:

• Uram, szükség lesz széklet- és vizeletmintára.

Az öreg odafordul az asszonyhoz:

• Mit mond?
• Azt, hogy add oda a gatyádat!

*

A kishivatalnok beront a főnökéhez. Kinyújtja a nyelvét, az arcába önti a kávéját, és a fejére húzza a papírkosarat. Ekkor benyit egy
kollégája:

• Csak vicceltem, Józsi!!! Nincs is ötösünk a LOTTÓ-n...

*
Hajnalban felkel a megszállott horgász. A felesége így szól hozzá:

• Ne menj, kint esik az eső, viharos a szél!

De a horgász csak összepakol, fogja a botjait, és elindul. Kint ő is észreveszi milyen rossz az idő, ezért visszamegy. Csöndben levetkőzik, visszabújik az ágyba, és csak annyit mormog:

• Pokoli az idő!

Erre a felesége:

• Tudom drágám, az a hülye férjem meg elment horgászni!

*
Idős székely házaspár ücsörög a ház előtt. Morfondírozik az öreg:

• Te Anyjuk! Ha egyikőnk meghal, én beköltözök a városba.

Ildiben azt kedvelem, hogy mindig olyan vicceket ejt meg amit nem hallottam még, ez tetszett:

" * Nagyon berúgtam az éjjel, így nem emlékszem, hogy veled szeretkeztem a kamrában?
* Hány órakor?"

lol!!

Köszi Vivi, igyekszem. :)
Nekem nagyon fontos a nevetés, egyszerűen nem bírom (néha persze muszáj...) elviselni a sótlan, mísz embereket,akik nem értékelik a humort.

Egy csodásan magányos szigetre a következő embercsoport vetődik egy hajótörés miatt: két olasz, két francia, két német, két görög, két angol, két bolgár, két kínai, két amerikai és két ír férfi, továbbá minden nációból egy nő. Egy hónap elteltével a semmi közepén lévő magányos kis szigeten a következő furcsaságok észlelhetők:

• Az egyik olasz férfi legyilkolta a másikat az olasz nő miatt.
• A két francia férfi pikáns hármast alakított a francia nővel.
• A két német pontos heti időbeosztás szerint, felváltva hál a német nővel.
• A két görög pasas egymással hál, a görög nő pedig főz rájuk.
• Az angol férfiak azóta is várják, hogy valaki bemutassa őket az angol nőnek.
• A bolgárok hosszú percekig nézték a végtelen óceánt, majd újabb hosszú percekig szemlélték a bolgár nőt, végül úszni kezdtek.
• A kínaiak alapítottak egy vegyesboltot (mosodát, étkezdét, ...) és teherbe ejtették a kínai nőt, hogy legyen elég személyzet.
• A két amerikai férfi az öngyilkosság határán van, mert az amerikai nő folyamatosan azon nyavalyog, hogy nem tudja megvalósítani önmagát, nem beszélhet a pszichoterapeutájával, fel szeretné végre dolgozni az

anyjával való kapcsolatát, és kövérnek látszik a pálmafák mellett, és ezen az sem változtat, hogy itt nem kell adót fizetni.

• Az írek felosztották a szigetet északi és déli részre, valamint lepárolót építettek. Nem emlékeznek szexre, mert a kókuszpálinka némi homályosodást idéz elő az agyukban, de boldogok, mert az angolok nem

érzik jól magukat.

Szóval ennyit a sztereotípiákról... :)

Jelölt a tárgyalásról visszatérve szomorúan kijelenti:

A legutóbbi tárgyaláson győzött az igazság!

Mire az ügyvéd: semmi baj majd fellebbezünk!!!

Vivi,

"Ildiben azt kedvelem, hogy mindig olyan vicceket ejt meg amit nem hallottam még"

és bennem mit kedvelsz? :D

Hát Imp, a kitartást a javadra kell írni :)

A bolgárok ilyen romantikus lelkek? :)

Ildikóka82

A történeted így lenne teljes a szigeten:

Az olaszok a franciázás után, német sört vedeltek és utána görög dinnyét ettek, a tartalmát pedig 3 percen belül az angol wc-be ürítették, mivel elfelejtették, hogy előtte ebédre bolgár konzerv paradicsommártással megöntözött kínai csirkét is fogyaszttak, de angolul volt rá-ír-va a lejárt szavatossági idő.

Jajj neee Márton, fáj a hasam a nevetéstől :)

Nils a bolgárok szendeségéről én sem tudtam :D

Imp:

nehéz megmondani..eddig semmit:D

Márton a fellebezős vicc nagyon tetszett !!:D:D

Ildikóka82

Pedig sietségembe az amerikai csomagolást a vége előtt elfelejtettem belírni...hátha még az afrikai és dél-amerikai országok lakóiról is kéne...de inkább ne!

Vivi

Sajnos valóság alapja van...

" .. de boldogok, mert az angolok nem
érzik jól magukat."

Ez mennyire igaz az írekre:D

Észak-ír, a dél olvas, a nyugat fejlődik, a kelet megmagyarázza

Márton személyedben egy ügyvédjelöltet ismerhetünk meg? Onnan ez a rossz tapasztalat?

Nem jelölt, (de azt a rögös utat is nagyon szükségesnek-fontosnak tartom és becsülöm is elszenvedőit) de sokat látott és halott...

gondolom ismeritek a "jó pap holtig tanul" mondást

mi van a pap sírkövére írva?

Izraelben egy vendéglőben feláll az egyik vendég és mondja : uraim a ruhatárnál elvesztettem a pénztárcámat volt benne 1000 dollár, a becsületes megtalálónak 100 dollár jutalmat adok. Rövid csend, majd egy távolabbi asztalnál feláll valaki és mondja
Én 200-at adok.

bajusz,

na mi? :)

tanulmányait befejezte

:DDDDDD ez marhajó lol !

Találtam egy érdekes angol cikket a sztereotípiákról, 55 nemzetről írtak le néhol igaz, néha hülye dolgokat (mi is benne vagyunk:). Bocsi aki nem angolos, de nem volt kedvem lefordítani mind az 55-öt. Bocs kicsit hosszú, szortírozzatok! :)

55 Nations - Stereotypes that will Ruin or Make your Day

American - arrogant; assertive; open-minded; materialistic; ambitious; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; alert; practical; US-centered world view; egoistic; anxious; fast food eaters; war mongers; God is with us!

Arabs - intelligent; modest; insecure; anxious; impulsive; “billionaires, bombers and belly dancers “, men wear beards and are womanizers; have subservient and repressed women who wear burka or headscarf; “play & pray” attitude; love celebrations and ceremonies; tea and shisha are important; God is great!

Argentinians - disagreeable; megalomaniac; warm and friendly people; can be vain & arrogant; beautiful women; cultured society; lazy; disrupting protesters

Austrians - anxious; traditional; wearing ‘Lederhosen’; yodel the whole day to ‘Volksmusik’; polite; efficient service people, but bureaucratic; modest; not superior-minded; old-fashioned; somewhat cosmopolitan; honest; love the little treats in life like ‘Sachertorte’, beer and good wine

Australians - party animals; nature lovers; surf all day - drink all night; have surfer chicks; heavy binge drinkers; neurotic; extroverted; sometimes shallow but honest; open-minded; free spirited; love to joke; “hail-fellow-well-met” or “chummy” attitude; men are useless dads; have barbie loving home cooking mums; uncultured; Crocodile Dundee outsider types; sports lovers; meat eaters; bush battling rednecks

Bangladeshis - poor; unconventional; adaptive; open-minded; agreeable; hardworking; politically inactive; intelligent but poorly educated; productive; inoffensive; often corrupt; poor personal hygiene; taking side-steps to get things done; community and family-oriented; working long hours for minimum pay; masculine behavior of men, showing manliness is important; naturally very friendly and hospitable towards foreigners; younger generation well educated

Belgians - make good beer; poor personal hygiene; good at mathematics; dishonest in money matters; make bad lovers; hermetically private food-lovers; penchant for building houses and garden sheds; fake ornament decorations; distrust of authority; tax evaders; often run shady side businesses; introverted; modest; impostors for other nationalities; but sometimes overly patriotic; everyone is a neighbor - but more stupid then oneself; eat only french & fries, except chocolate and other sweet stuff; multi-lingual; everyones owns diamonds; “pee where they go”

Bulgarians - survive on tomato, cucumber and goat cheese only; colorful traditions; natural; open-minded; skiers or sun-worshipers; open, warm and kind people; traditional; let bears dance on fire; skilled craftsmen, farmers and artisans; nationalists; “catastrophic” social consciousness; tolerant; feeble religiousness; lack of fanaticism; condescending attitude; curiosity and openness to the “otherness”; anxious; fearful; efficient; accurate; precise; hardworking; disciplined; clever; highly qualified; drama kings and queens; overly suspicious

Brazilians - body-centric; party animals; impulsive; incestuous; megalomaniac; most women are super-models, most men are gay or machos; always late; carnivals addicts; soccer and coffee lovers; criminals and robbers; lazy/manana attitude; bean and meat eaters; beach and sun-worshipers; bikini (called: dental floss here) inventors; active; inventive and constructive people; always trying to outwit government and regulations; impossibly favor-oriented; family- and community-oriented

British (UK) - drinkers; lousy food; stiff upper-lips; ultra-traditional; steady-on, old chaps; bulldog spirit; bad teeth and hygiene; rude; thin; smoke cigar or pipe; scruffy hair; “fitted” clothing; heavy binge drinkers; swear all day long; artistic; “fashionable”; deep thinkers; intelligent and articulate; boastful; anti-American; ride bikes; God save the Queen!

Canadians - submissive; neurotic; agreeable; modest; open-minded; progressive; efficient; straight-forward; polite; respectful; anxious; law-abiding; orderly; caring for handicapped/elderly/minorities; tolerant; multi-lingual; moderate; no hero/celebrity worshiping; don’t like successful people; anti-American; passive; boring; socialist mindset; eat blubber; wear funny hats; live in igloos further north

Cayman Islanders - secretive; money-oriented; tax evasive; unsavory; hospitable; but introverted

Colombians - impulsive; aggressive; violent; kidnappers & narco-traffickers; merengue dancers; passionate; educated; hard-working; caring and listening people; nature lovers

Czech - agreeable; heavy beer drinkers; bohemian lifestyle; live and let live attitude; tolerant; “He’s a Czech, he never smiles at people he doesn’t know”; easy-to-get women; introverted; frightened and defensive attitude toward other cultures and the outside world

Chinese - stingy and noisy spitters; fast-learners; open-minded; ambitious; progressive; efficient; materialistic; do kung fu and other material arts; great at mathematics; can’t hold their liquor; terrible drivers; arrogant; assertive; very “short” somewhere private but “bigger” than Japanese; wear glasses; pirate and copy everything; don’t value contracts; cheap labor; drink green tea; eat everything that lives - even tiger balls, bear gall bladder, rhino horns and sea cucumber; smoke opium; business-oriented; money rules the world; prepare for world domination

Danish - open-minded; somber; introverted; prudish; cold-resistant; decadent hedonists; urban; jovial; untrustworthy; beer-drinking; happy-go-lucky; vaguely unhygienic; profoundly disorganized; sociable and relaxed; easy-going

Dutch - polite; open-minded; well-traveled; no commitments; boring, but provoking; organized and efficient; harmless; “a nation of rosy-cheeked farmers who live in windmills, wear clogs, have a garden full of tulips and sit on piles of yellow cheese”; opinionated; can be stubborn and incurably mean; downright devious in business affairs; formidable merchants; “Where a Dutchman has passed, not even the grass grows anymore” a Japanese saying goes; an English pamphlet raged: “A Dutchman is a Lusty, Fat, Two-legged Cheese worm. A Creature that is so addicted to eating butter, drinking fat, and sliding (skating) that all the world knows him for a slippery fellow” - at this time the English language gained a whole array of new insults such as “Dutch courage” (booze-induced bravery), “Dutch comfort” (”Things could be worse”) and “Dutch gold” (alloy resembling gold). Others include: “Double Dutch” (gibberish), “Dutch cap” (contraceptive diaphragm), “Dutch wife”/”Dutch widow” (prostitute; sex doll), “Dutch uncle” (harsh admonisher)

Finnish - vodka-lovers; modest; polite; somber; introverted; reserved; honest; curvy straight-talkers; trustworthy; quiet; serious; diligent and humble; tough negotiators and demanding businessmen; nit pickers; melancholic; very tall and blond; they love nature; frugal; calm; sturdy; sauna fans; have attractive women

French - good lovers; best cuisine in the world; chaotic; irresponsible; introverted; selfish; cultured; social “players”; do not like to work - prefer to strike; always surrender in war; don’t speak English; rude to tourists; anti-American; ungrateful; live in a bureaucratic Socialist system, totally dependent on the state; don’t use soap; arrogant and conceited; distant and difficult to meet; don’t respect religious freedom; snobs; God who?

Germans - mechanical; organized; boring; no sense of humor; conscientious; drink beer all day - beer-bellied; always shake hands; born with a monkey wrench in their hands, eating vast quantities of sausage and sauerkraut; men have dodgy facial hair, women are icy Teutonic beauties with blond hair and blue eyes; legendary bureaucracy; both sexes loathe inefficiency, love the Fatherland, have never been late for anything in their lives, and would secretly like to invade Europe, even if they have to do it via the EU; eat about five huge meals a day; follow blindly rules and regulations like “don’t walk on public lawn” and “before crossing the road, wait for the little green man to show even if there is no car in sight”; pedophiliac

Greek - are big and overweight; lazy; eat souvlaki and olives and drink Ouzo or red wine all day; always break their plates after meals; can’t drive - especially when its dark; disorganized; heavy meat eaters; own all oil-tankers in the world; live the easy life; corrupt; impossible planners; cultured, inefficient; live in “unkempt” buildings with “raggedy curtains”, empty beer cans, kegs or rusted automobiles clutter their yards; have beautiful women, as long they are young - men are mainly homosexual or sexual predators

Hungarians - good drivers; salami addicts; hot cuisine full of pepper and paprika; use oversized pencils; “a small nation struggling and surviving against the odds”; oppressors turned troublemakers; indigenous; often desperate and hopeless; calm and objective way of thinking; courage; audacity and insistence on ideas

Indians - unconventional; adaptive; open-minded; agreeable; manipulative; hardworking; politically inactive; studious; intelligent; productive; inoffensive; poor personal hygiene; meditating or walking over fire, pinching needles through their mouth, in hands, legs and other private parts; spiritual, generally poor; snake charmers; legendary bureaucrats; huge families; love to watch soap operas; will outsource the whole world

Indonesians - fearful; neurotic; extroverted; conscientious; warm and friendly people; lazy; live for today - who cares about tomorrow; no planners; religious; family-oriented; supportive; invented the rubber-time/rarely on time; corrupt; superstitious; slow; inferior; polite; lacking discipline; use feeling not logic; do not follow rules; hypocritical; resistant to change; tolerant; low profile; unwilling to confront or give ‘bad news’; silent in meetings; can’t swim

Italians- Gigolos; live with their Mamas; even more chaotic than the French; possessive; passionate; pizza/pasta freaks; creative accountants; smooth-talking; manipulative; dishonest; women have mustaches; fashion-addicted; Casanovas; mafia or gang members;

Irish - loud; no sense of cuisine; impulsive; glass of whiskey or beer in his/her hand; Celtic music fanatics; have red hair and “white-white” skin; live and sleep with their sheep; religious fanatics and protesters

Israelis - arrogant; religious; strong family relations; well-traveled; anxious; noisy; rude; curse locals on travels; travel in packs only; ruin things if not satisfied; argue over the price of anything - even a cup of tea for a few cent; don’t respect local people; party all night; take a lot of drugs; if people say something against them, then they are surely Nazis; fancy and fashionable women in tight swimsuits; dream of migrating to other countries if their mother would let them; God help us!

Jamaicans - lazy; grass-smokers; reggae and rasta maniacs; modest; impulsive; loud; boisterous and aggressive; most look like Bob Marley in the morning; strong sense of self and their culture; innovative musicians who influenced many genres; survivors - willing and able to create something from nothing; strong traditional families; caring for others in need; proud God fearing people; want American women and American dollars; don’t like American blacks; not too smart; the life goal of men is to have plenty of babies with multiple women; like patties, Winston, Stella, Ackee and Saltfish; always late; live in trees; walk barefoot and live generally very primitive; want to migrate some place else; every man in Kingston owns a gun; Jamaican women go to the Bahamas and the rest of the Caribbean to look for foreign men; all Jamaican men are uncircumcised; all they care are weed, beach, women and rum; God is Bob Marley!

Japanese - disciplined; organized; very techy; fearful; neurotic; extroverted; competent; short; wealthy due to being a running dog of the US; workaholics; perverted; bathe in unisex public showers; buy sex toys and porn from vending machines; very “short” somewhere private but “bigger” than Chinese; women are subservient to men and make perfect devoted wives; raw-fish eaters; suicidal, arrive in packs

Korean (South) - ‘kimchi’ is the only food; open-minded; ambitious; progressive; efficient; materialistic; arrogant; assertive; women are passive; ultra-modern; tech-savy; love gossip; traditional; women may be viewed by outsiders as having low status, being economically dependent, living in social isolation, and being virtual slaves; but actually, they were never confined to the house; they visit friends, shop, and go to popular theater presentations; women, as they grow older, speak their mind with impunity

Laotians - religious; Buddhists; family-oriented; weed smokers; MSG lovers; warm & friendly people; relocated & traumatized refugees; Boat People; farmers; copy the Thai cuisine; eat only sticky rice; wear baggy trousers; hospitable; relaxed; know how to enjoy life; believe in karma and spirits; politically inactive and uninterested

Luxembourg - all rich bankers; shady characters with black hats; manipulative; secretive; introverted; live from money laundering and fund managing; hard-working, intelligent; good in mathematics and monetary transactions

Malaysians - lazy; anxious; neurotic; manipulative; survive by cronyism and nepotism; introverted; have inferiority complex; arrogant; have speed traps everywhere; ultra-religious, but sell porn everywhere; inhospitable, hate Westerners; boring; have great varieties of food; embrace multi-culturalism; wear bright, colorful clothes; every long-term visitor is expected to convert to Islam; love to watch soap operas; men chauvinistic, have mistresses; women traditional but with modern thinking

Mexicans - heavy tequila drinkers; impulsive; wear huge sombreros; religious; family-oriented; neurotic; modest; megalomaniac, men overweight with golden teeth and 3-day-beard, women attractive and easy to get; all women look like Salma Hayek; sneaky; banditos; maids or illegal immigrants; lazy; never finish anything - not even revolution; either sleeping, leaning against a cactus or bored; warm & friendly people; hospitable; great food (enchiladas, tortillas, burritos) and cheap cost-of-living; a real land of the free; mystical cults; human traffickers into the US

Moroccans - wants everything gratis; look like Ali Baba; live in an Oasis in the desert surrounded by palm trees; traditional; hospitable; nomads roaming the sands on camels; mysterious; have exotic food; human traffickers into Europe; poor people; lost paradise; polygamists; Casablanca!

Nepalese - poor and unemployed, but religious; peace-loving separatists; love colorful clothes, flags and fabrics; illiterate; suppressed and exploited women; tolerant; struggling to survive; anti-Indian; cultured; enlightened

New Zealanders - neurotic; extroverted; strong; unemotional; kiwi-eaters and farmers; provincial; pastoral; lack of sophistication; without any modern cosmopolitan nature; quainted; laid-back; relaxed; productive; opportunity-offering and seeking; multi-racial, tolerant; MacGyver mentality; unconventional; the 3 R’s: “Rugby, Racing & Beer”; independent; unfeminine women, wearing only masculine clothing; disregard intellectuals; farming Frodos; distrust politicians

Nigerians - internet scam artists & drug dealers; violent; neurotic; open-minded; modest; manipulative; hard-working; creative; enjoy life; practice bizarre cults; sacrifice their first-born children; corrupt; love money; always horny; women enjoy house management works

Norwegians - modest; somber; introverted; trolls, blond-haired, blue-eyed; rational and bored; boring; dependent on welfare state and petroleum; lax rules of sexual morality; institutionalized yearning for nature and simplicity; alcoholics; uneducated; stupid country bumpkin; rural traditions; rustic and unsophisticated fish-eaters; lamentable manners and muddy boots; stunning petroleum wealth

Pakistani - hardworking; politically inactive; studious; intelligent; productive; and inoffensive; low-paid; do dirty jobs; cricket-addicted; anti-Indian; wild-eyed fanatics; militaristic; emotional

Philippines - “region of natural and man-made disasters”; religious; have large, extended families; neurotic; modest; love to watch soap operas; cars are old patched American jeeps (jeepneys); tricycles are everywhere; chaotic traffic; colorful; kidnapping of foreigners is a favorite past-time - besides cock-fighting; obsession with cellphones and SMS; women call their husbands ‘master’; everyone has at least 3.000 pair of shoes; drama kings and queens; oversea workers sacrifice comfort, endure loneliness and abuse to work abroad to support & satisfy their families neverendingly; exotic foods and fruits; 7.000 exotic islands; warm & smiling people; love Karaoke; cheerful bantering; “Hey, Joe!”; God is Jesus, Mary and the holy trinity!

Polish - neurotic; never smile but complain a lot; hard bargainers; babysitters; intolerant; heavy alcohol users; your car will be stolen, once you cross the border; easy-going; conservative; intellectual; attractive women, aggressive men - always up to pick a fight; excellent drivers; hard-working; helpful; listen to folk music; sit in church all day if nothing else to do; very religious

Portuguese - ignorant; violent; love buffoonery; kind; rural people with ‘Singer’ sewing machines; bull fighters; meat eaters; drink port wine; love celebrations; well traveled hundreds of years ago - now more introverted; always longing for something, but don’t know what; feel lonely; nostalgic; “the past old days were the best”; waiting for the next hero to come; prefer to live a simple life and mocks the powerful

Romanians - directly related to Dracula; everyone owns a mystic castle in the Carpate mountains in Transylvania, backwards-oriented; primitive; refuse to work; have to many children; slow; ingenious; trying hard - but never succeed; mistrust police and government; love to celebrate; “women are mothers and wives, trafficking of women, prostitution, domestic violence and sexual harassment is their own fault”; manipulative; nationalists; stable and value-oriented

Russians - aggressive; rude; good tippers, big spenders; generally generous; open-minded; agreeable; love their “babushkas” and the last Czar; either spys or communists; alcoholics (primarily Stolichnaya vodka); mainly poor - with a few shiny billionaires; buy football clubs around the world (mainly in England); love ice hockey, gymnastics, wrestling, weight lifting; organized crime (the Russian Mafia) is everywhere; overweight; have deep hearty laughs; threatening nuclear war; want to invade with MIG fighter jets; ultra-orthodox Christians; love to secretly poison their enemies with uranium injections; warmongering similar to Americans

Singaporeans - adaptive; super-efficient; fearful; anxious; crime-averse; rich; selfish; money-oriented; hard-working; clean; stylish; organized; disciplined; tolerant; introverted; career- and certificate-oriented; multi-cultural; love to eat chicken rice; over-regulated; obedient to government and hierarchies; fashionable; against chewing gum and smoking; are ‘kiasu’ - an extreme fear of losing/missing out; “women are materialistic, superficial, high-maintenance, have their heads too high up in the clouds, narcissistic; men are similar, just add boring, egoistic and they live with their parents”; love shopping - love SHOPPING!; the 5 C’s: “Cash, Car, Credit Card, Condominium, Country Club Membership”

South Africans - impulsive, racists; disease-infested; tribal; poor; community-oriented; strong masculine men; repressed women; proud; love to sing and dance; colorful celebrations; have short life; live in a dangerous country; suspicious; materialistic; apathetic; regretful; egoistic; pessimistic; revengeful; love TV; enjoy life to the fullest

Sri Lankis - aggressive separatists; lazy; jealous; rebellious; ardent defenders of faith; friendly & warm people; conservative; strong beliefs in cultural norms; extreme traditional; uneducated, unskilled and unemployed; patriarchic and devoted women; believe in “natural evolution of things”; entrepreneurs; sometimes naughty deal makers; opportunist linguists - ‘Neither here nor there’

Spaniards - lazy; party animals; womanizers; food lovers (Paella); extroverted; untidy; conscientious; impulsive; megalomaniac; bull fighters; always late; “know how to live”; wine-drinking and ham-eating; temperamental; affectionate; look like Antonio Banderas; emotional cry-babies; sophisticated; everybody smokes and talks all the time; proud and patriotic; fashionable, love to dance; relaxed; nationalists; cultured; respect their rights and duties; history and ancestry are important; leisure culture; open-minded and warm people;

Swedish - conscientious; blond-haired, blue-eyed; wealthy; enlightened; rational and bored; boring; dependent on their welfare state; lax rules of sexual morality; institutionalized yearning for nature and simplicity; heavy drinkers; modest; introverted; sophisticated and modern

Swiss - rich; competent; introverted; modest; anxious; serious; multi-lingual; brand-affine; nit pickers, hard bargainers; watch makers; sit in the mountains, ‘yodel’ and milk their cows; play 12m long Alpine horns; ruddy cheeked; pretty smug because of the fresh mountain air; their trains always run on time; their diet is chocolate and holey-cheese; women are mostly blond, never grow old, like to help milking the cattle and are usually called Heidi; live in wooden huts on the mountainside; each room has at least one cuckoo clock; except people in Zurich: those are sharp-suited secretive bankers hoarding Nazi gold and helping out corrupt politicians and gangsters; obsessed with the environment, cleanliness and punctuality; tight on the rules; very private

Taiwanese - ambitious; progressive; super-efficient; materialistic; descended from the Kuo Min Tang, the running dogs of the American imperialists who fled to Taiwan in 1949, taking enough priceless national treasures with them to ensure their wealth right up to the present day; tech-savy, independent, proud

Thai - impulsive; manipulative; fun-loving (”Sanuk”); conservative; speak/sing a funny language; most women are hot and sexy and work in massage parlous or in bars; men rent out motor bikes or get drunk on Mekong Whiskey on the beach - except ladyboys; nationalists; suspicious towards foreigners; polite; good care-takers; can cook well; greedy; narrow-minded; promiscuous; dishonest; traditional; shy in public; family-oriented; religious; self-confident; independent; intelligent; ignorant; can get very violent and unreasonable very swiftly; can’t pronounce ‘R’; proud and patriotic; superiority-complex; resourceful; street-smart; emotional; Long live the King!

Turkish - neurotic; conscientious; impulsive; lazy; oppressive; nationalists; intelligent; belly dancers; live from Kebab and Raki; men wear long bended swords in baggy trousers and turbans, have long beards; women wear a headscarf;

Vietnamese - modest; mystical; obscure, wear funny hats and sleep in rice fields; eat baguette and strawberry jam or pate; hard-working; friendly; helpful